Half Assed Kitchen

Miso soup

 

After the overindulgence of hams and cakes and cookies etcetera this holiday season, we were longing for something simple. A four-ingredient miso soup that packs a nutritious punch and has a lot of flavor, too, is just what we were in the mood for.

This is our favorite ten-minute lunch (or first dinner course). It's easy and protein-rich.

Rating: 1/4 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

3 cups water

2 Tablespoons miso paste, or to taste (We use yellow miso. You can find it in the refrigerated section of many grocery stores, usually near the tofu.)

3/4 cup firm tofu, cubed

3 green onions, sliced (white and green parts)

In a saucepan, bring water to a boil. Add miso paste and let boil for one minute. Turn down heat to medium. Add tofu cubes and green onion and let simmer for two to three more minutes.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Sweet and Sour Meatballs

A little bit Asian, a little bit Heinz-Chili-Sauce American, there is no one besides vegetarians who wouldn't like these meatballs. They have just the right amount of sweet zing to make you go Mmmmm.
 

And, as is typical around here, our sweet and sour meatballs are easy to make, too.

 

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 pound pre-made meatballs (we use frozen Trader Joes' party-size meatballs)

1/2 onion, chopped

3/4 jar Heinz Chili Sauce

2-3 Tablespoons rice vinegar (or apple cider vinegar)

1/3 cup brown sugar

1-2 Tablespoons worcestershire sauce

1 Tablespoon cornstarch whisked into 1/2 cup water.

Ground black pepper

If still not sweet enough for you, add ketchup, pineapple juice or brown sugar by the tablespoon until desired sweet/sour combination is achieved.

Mix all ingredients and let simmer over medium-low heat until onions are soft and meatballs are cooked through.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Crab cakes

 

Okaaay, we pretty much stole this recipe from Paula Deen. We had to do something. Our fisherman neighbor brings us pounds of fresh (already shelled!) Dungeness crab and we only have so many ideas how to use it. Not that we're complaining.

This recipe makes the best crab cakes we've ever had. Packed full of good stuff, without too much filler, these babies are fantastic. To top them, we mixed a little mayo with freshly ground pepper and brown mustard, then sprinkled on capers.

Rating: 3/4 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 pound crab meat, shelled

1/3 cup crackers, crushed (we used Ritz)

3 green onions, both white and green parts, thinly chopped

1/2 cup red, yellow or orange bell pepper, finely chopped

1/4 cup mayonnaise

1 egg

1 teaspoon worcestershire sauce

1 teaspoon dry mustard (a great spice investment)

1/2 lemon, juiced

1-2 garlic cloves, minced

Flour for dusting

Olive or canola oil for frying.

Preheat (on medium high) olive oil in non-stick skillet or griddle. Mix all ingredients except flour and oil. Form into cakes and dust with flour. Place cakes on hot skillet and cook until each side is golden brown.

Serve warm with your favorite sauce.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Fudge

  
 

Who doesn't love to indulge in a thick wedge of fudge every day here and there? The holiday season is typically Fudge Season, but we love it year round. Possibly because we hail from the Land of Fudge--a touristy Northern Michigan town with a fudge shop on every corner. So prevalent was the fudge there that we called visitors Fudgies.

Anyway, it's in our blood. With a candy thermometer, it's also really easy to make. We like our fudge smooth and creamy--the more decadent the better.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

3 cups sugar (granulated will give you a grainy-ish texture, powdered sugar will make smoother fudge)

4 ounces unsweetened chocolate

4 Tablespoons butter

1 cup half-and-half or milk

1 Tablespoon vanilla

1 Tablespoon corn syrup

1 cup chopped nuts (optional)

or, for peppermint fudge...

1 teaspoon peppermint extract

In a medium saucepan, heat all ingredients to boiling. Let boil three minutes, then clip on candy thermometer and simmer until fudge reaches 234 degrees (soft ball stage). Pour into greased 8x8 pan and let cool. You can stash pan in the fridge to set the fudge more quickly.

Also, we like to double this recipe for extra thick fudge, but be warned, extra thick fudge takes several hours to set.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Mini cornmeal cakes with ricotta and grapes

This recipe comes to you straight from the Food Network. We went looking for easy apps. We found easy apps. We liked the looks of this one because we like cornbread a lot. And cheese even more.

Our head taste tester thinks these apps would be even better with cream cheese and apple rather than ricotta and grapes. But we'll let you make the substitution, if so desired.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 package cornbread mix, plus egg, milk and oil to make the cornbread

1/2 cup ricotta cheese

Handful of seedless grapes, washed and sliced

Honey for drizzling

Mix cornbread ingredients and cook on oiled griddle until each side is golden brown. Remove from griddle and let cool. Top with a schmear of ricotta, a couple grape slices and a little honey.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here. 

Really excellent 3-bean chili

 

We love chili. Who doesn't? It's hot, hearty and easy to make. We especially love our chili (modest, aren't we?) It has kick. It has depth. It has flavor. And it takes less than twenty minutes to throw into a pot.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

Olive oil

1 medium onion, chopped

3 cloves garlic, chopped

1 pound ground meat (we used turkey)

1 can kidney beans

1 can black beans

1 can navy beans (or any combination of beans you prefer)

2 Tablespoons chili powder (or to taste)

1 teaspoon cocoa powder

2 teaspoons sugar

3/4 teaspoon salt

2 teaspoons paprika

1 large can crushed tomatoes

1 cup chicken broth

2-3 Tablespoons red wine vinegar

Heat olive oil in stock pot or dutch oven and brown ground meat. When meat is almost done, add onions and garlic. When onions begin to turn transparent, add rest of the ingredients.

Let simmer on medium-low heat for 20 to 30 minutes, or longer if you can.

Serve with cornbread muffins.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Dates Wrapped in Bacon

This one is easy. Ridiculously easy. And good. Insanely good. The bacon and the sugar from the dates fuse to make a crispy, gooey, sweet, bacony burst of flavor and texture. You can prep this one in five minutes. Give it ten to fry and you're good to go.

 

Rating: 1/4 assed (If we'd given ourselves the option of 1/8 assed, we'd go with that, but 1/4 assed is as far down as we're allowed.)

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 pound dates

1 package bacon, sliced in half lengthwise and then cut into four-inch quarters.

Wrap each date in bacon and drop into non-stick skillet. Cook until bacon is crisp. Serve warm or cool.

No-roll pie crust

 

Yes, we know we're a little late to the pie party, seeing as how Thanksgiving was yesterday. But people still bake pies year-round, right? There's the lemon meringue and the coconut cream and the key lime. None of them holiday-ish, per se.

So here's a version of a pie crust that requires no roll-out. Which is perfect for us because rolling pins give us hives. We hate making pie crust from scratch and will usually buy it pre-made from the store. But this crust...this crust is perfect. Not a beauty queen, for sure, but easy. And delicious.

Rating: 1/4 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it:

1-1/2 cups flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

2 Tablespoons milk

1-1/2 teaspoons sugar

1/2 cup canola or vegetable oil

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Mix ingredients right in the pie plate. Press into place with your fingertips. Prick bottom with fork. Bake for ten minutes. Remove from oven, fill and bake until pie filling is firm.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Cornbread muffins

We love us some good cornbread. Sweet but not too cakey, moist and full of corn kernels. We've just discovered that adding a can of creamed corn to your cornbread makes a quick and easy, go-to recipe. This is a great addition to your Thanksgiving feast or simply to serve with a fantastic bowl of chili.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

3/4 cup yellow cornmeal

3/4 cup all-purpose flour

1/4 cup sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

3/4 teaspoon salt

1 cup canned creamed corn

1/2 stick butter or margarine, melted

1 large egg

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Grease an 8x8 baking pan or muffin tins. Whisk all ingredients together and stir until just blended.

Bake about 20 minutes, or until cornbread begins to turn golden and toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Orange cranberry sauce with ginger

We are pleased as punch to welcome our guest poster, the fabulous Vanessa from 40Licious. She's an amazing cook who is famous for winging it. Where winging it means throwing in a little of this and little of that until something delectable is bubbling away on the stovetop.

In this case, it's Vanessa's' orange cranberry sauce with ginger.

Rating: 1/4 assed

Vanessa: This year I’ve been charged with bringing the cranberry sauce to the first-ever TG with my boyfriend’s parents. Though I gazed longingly at the plastic tub of ready-to-go cranberry-orange sauce at Trader Joe’s, I passed and decided it was infinitely better to at least attempt making something from scratch. Years ago, I made some insane cranberry-orange relish from the back of the bag of Ocean Spray Cranberries, so I gathered up the ingredients I thought I needed and headed back to the kitchen.

But there was no recipe for cranberry-orange anything on the back of the bag! And surfing around for it just left me cranky. (Please note that “cranberry” and “cranky” share the same root. This is not by accident.)

So here’s what I ended up doing. Please note most measurements are estimated, you just go on and be your own bad self with those. Also, try to use organic oranges and other ingredients when you can, it tastes soooooo much better.

Here's what you need and how you do it:

2 bags of fresh cranberries

A piece of ginger about half the length of your pinky (Ed. note: we used a bigger piece. The size of our actual pinky.)

An orange or two, peeled and chunked

2 cups sugar 

1 cup water

Glass of wine or loaded eggnog (Ed. note: we used 1 cup red wine.)

In a blender or food processor with a metal blade, chop up the ginger, orange and one of the bags of cranberries.

Drink some of the wine or eggnog.

Place the cranberry mixture in a saucepan and add about a half cup of water. Add the other bag of cranberries, whole. Add the sugar.

Boil the hell out of it for about three or four minutes; keep stirring. If it looks like it’s too hot and about to burn, add a little more water. While you are doing this, you can drink some more wine or eggnog.

Taste it to see if it needs more sugar. If so, add some. What are you waiting for? Turn flame way down.

Finish your wine or eggnog.

Check your Facebook. But don’t get all caught up in that or your sauce might burn.

When the sauce becomes redder than blood, you can turn it off and just let it sit nicely until you are ready to serve or refrigerate.

Celebrate by pouring another glass of wine or eggnog.

(Ed. note: We skipped the blender/food processor step altogether and just boiled the cranberries and oranges whole. It kept the recipe simpler and left one less contraption to wash. Also, boil for approximately 15 minutes. The oranges add more moisture so you'll have to go longer than the Ocean Spray bag says to get a thicker consistency.)

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.